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I tucked you away so easily for thanksgiving
you came back out when sickness brought
more bodies than home had beds
you came back out in necessity
needing to transform
once again
into a space for healing
for holding
for three moons you have been out
providing a respite cave for dog and child alike
a place to lay down that isn’t bed
that doesn’t feel like “going back to bed”
cuz I already did that
got
out
of
bed
today, once is enough
It feels like time for couch once again
how do I know, shoulder shrug
I just do
keeping you out is feeling a bit stuck now
and putting you in feels way too much
why does absolutely everything have to feel
so big, heavy, impossible
I know I could do it
I could take each blanket off
wash the sheets
fold everything up
put it all away
I could do that
I could fold you into yourself
put your cushions back on
cover you with something pretty
pillow you a bit
I don’t want to though
and I don’t want to be tough and power through
I wanna ask for help
I wanna let someone help me
I wanna let my people love me
I wanna open up my heart and
RECeiVE
so I’m gonna let someone else put you back up
I’m gonna be okay going back to bed
I’m gonna be okay getting up out of it as many times as it takes
and I am going to not be so strong
practice is something I believe in
and believing in something matters
so I practice being soft, bending
like cedar bows dancing on wind.