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When I was 5 years old, I pulled an elaborate prank on my mother in the grocery store. When I was 13, I started questioning who I was. When I was 14, I stepped foot on stage for the first time. When I was 16, I realized I was autistic. This is to say that I've been acting my entire life. Performing in a vain attempt to be someone that people liked. I was playing the role of the totally cool, laid-back, never-needy daughter and friend. I am none of those things. I’m no one’s daughter. I’m afraid all the time. I’m needy. I’m nerdy. These are the things that make me who I am. I spent so many years playing a part in the belief that it would make me fit in. This obviously didn’t work. Everyone could see that I was faking it. When you try to be someone you’re not for so long, it takes a toll. It is exhausting to hide yourself away. I will always be recovering. Sometimes, I still try to shrink myself down. Fit into the boxes that were created for me. To return to the person I was and the ease it brought. If you’ve ever tried to fit yourself into something you’ve grown out of, you know how impossible it is to go back. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing. If I were to stuff myself back into that role, I would lose so many of the wonderful things that make me who I am. To hide myself away would be an injustice. To sit still, look away, and shut my mouth. This would only make me smaller than I am. I don’t want to shrink myself down to appease them ever again. Now, I perform in a whole new way. I dance to the music around me. I sing along to my favorite songs. I walk in the rain so that I might know the secrets of my world. I recite Shakespeare and belt showtunes because it makes me feel alive. To feel alive is to feel free. To feel free is to be wholly yourself. I am so much happier now that I'm no longer pretending to be someone I'm not. I’m done hiding away because it feels safe. I’m opening myself up to the possibilities. I’m ready to step into the light. Take my hand; I’m bringing you with me. We are going to shine.