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“[Spotted hyena] females are extremely masculinated and the genitalia of females are almost indistinguishable from those of males. […] The female has no external vagina and must urinate, mate, and deliver young through the urogenital canal that exits through the pseudo-penis.”
–University of Michigan Museum of Zoology
The hyena skulks
in through the open door
as I stand in front of the mirror
examining myself.
She rubs the coarse fur
of her body against
my unshaven legs.
She has just finished eating
the neighbor’s goat,
horns to hooves.
I wonder what it feels like
in her stomach
or if she even feels at all.
Her nameless cubs
suffocated within her.
How does one forgive
their body for its betrayal?
She struts
as she watches me
layer bras and shirts
to bind and flatten
my breasts.
She doesn’t look away.
She knows things I don’t:
How to take a life.
How to kill
without remorse.
How to live
in a flawed body.
Our eyes meet
in the mirror
and we pause.
For a moment, we see
each other backwards,
or maybe as we really are.