Text
a woman looks at me like my mouth
is peeled fruit
my entire rib cage
cranes
rage of sampaguitas, coral reef in my skull
and i—
what do i mean by ruin
if she fills me, every time
At thirteen, the smallest,
the slowest in my grade. The popular girls yelling
lesbian
in hallways too humid
and bright. Lunch tins and royal blue water jugs
line up against the wall.
I don’t know what to do. On my knees
on a mountaintop.
They are deciding
which parts
of my beast
I’ll get to keep.
A girl with a gumamela pink retainer
was pretty. I never
said so,
but they all saw, where they were pinched, I had bloomed
unholy terror. I lost
my windows in that war. Every day
typhoon.
My dogs drowned
with the rats. I could not
bring them back.
a woman dances in public for me
her thighs seek out the sun
she does not hate herself for wanting
i cry in response
her eyes darker and more
forgiving than mine
she sees the pin that locks my wrists in place, says nothing of it