Bedtime Stories

I am the villain, the hero, and the victim

Of the most boring trauma stories you can think of.

My body, my family, my friendships

Each word

A scar, A trigger, A memory

Of something that

I hope,

I dream,

I fantasized

Wouldn’t have happened if I was

Stronger, Angrier, Violent, Scarier, Hungrier, Louder

If I was more

Confident, beautiful, taletened, pitied

Or loved.

But instead

I balance a joint between my lips

I light, I suck, I breathe out

I brush my teeth, I shower, I climb into bed

I sleep.

And for a moment,

I forget.