unnamed love language

rolling pin into flat
into smashed
into cant feel
   this way anymore

muscles so tense
exhausted from trying to remember not to clench
and hold them into this shape

thigh ropes of viscera taut as i type
longing to be smoothed under hands
no
feet

trample me scared
   takes the place of tense
pain reminds i wont -be- forever

drive of boot wondering
do you know how fragile i am
how soft

i can finally start to stop

crushed into powder that leaks into rivers
of feelings escaped
finally a
   nother way through

painful
tingling
shaking
hurt
clenched
splashes
splatters
seeps
down

earth vibrating with me until i quit shaking again

rap me with reeds
'til welts cover my body
red and thick
giving me texture
   warmth

sweat from rapture
dripping

tackle me down
bound hand
bound foot
no escape
then taped shut
hood over head and thrown
bag zipped
wheeled unknown and dropped
                                           left
                                               forgotten
                                                          gone

split
spilled
punched
abandoned
discarded
labeled
cradled
swaddled
kissed
mixed up
fucked up
where is this in love language literature
this hurt me the way i like
so i feel safe
                so i know you see me
                                             so i know you care
all at once or please
none at all

degrade me just so
   sinew becomes lengthening
   revival becomes hope
and love feels like love again