Text
There’s a lot of
time on a boat
waiting
these minutes, not all
filled with
chatter between
the family so
gathered together to
watch whales
there’s enough time to fill with
thoughts—observation
but you’re used to
that. The last empty
summer prepared you
well for introspection
the boat surges
into the grey uncertainty
every wave: haunting
waiting for a glimpse
you aren’t unnaccustomed
to admiring strangers
you’re young and
full of yearning
but never for someone who—
upon second glance
looks so much
like you
and i don’t know
why your first
thought
was to experiment
with this
attraction, not
to banish it. cruelly
excised to
the darkest parts
of your heart
just held
in your chest
the warmth of
the secret seeping
down to your
fingers
the cold June air
whipping your face
and it feels funny
now
realizing
it was June.
But I don’t know
it’s not really
all that surprising
if thats when
joy spouts
why wouldn’t you feel welcomed
to hold onto yourself, rather than repress
and maybe it
wasn’t exactly
June
maybe the
idea had been there—simmering
maybe the
short hair and
silent shared
smiles were just
the push
needed
to realize this
could be who
you
are
and every cheer
over
whale’s splash
feels like a standing ovation for one
and maybe now
you’re worried
your mom can
read all your
thoughts on your
face,
but don’t
think about that
now, it’s okay
and thinking of
this. I reach for you,
tenderheart.
you, just months
away from
a years’ long
heartbreak
but on the edge
of everything
this is it
the beginning
don’t lose grip
on this possibility