i’ll be okay eventually

i can’t fast forward to the part
where everything is perfect,
and i can’t rewind back
to fix all of my mistakes

all the glass cracks, frayed seams,
missing keys, kicked walls,
chipped nails, bent fenders,
corrupt files, and me in the middle

but just slightly to the left
pretending the mirror isn’t broken
bad luck seeping into my blood
but

the moment i give into the lie
that i am unloved
that i am unworthy
that i am and always will be invisible

but
i have to hold onto the thread
that connects me back to earth
and pull myself back

over and over again
even when told i am unimportant
that i’m no one’s highest priority
that everything i do is wrong

to trip and fall and stand up again
with knees scuffed and palms scraped,
luck oozing out to stain the ground

—if the earth is beneath and the sky is above
—if the sun always rises after a long, tear-stained night
—to know spring arrives when winter ends

then i have to keep living
for no other reason
than for myself